January 18, 2011

Weapons of Han Dong Er

1) Meow Attack: Make meow sounds when target is near

This attack is not effective at all. The purpose of meowing is to lower the enemy's guard, to let the enemy think that there's nothing there except a cat. Dong Er uses this twice on two people. The first time, Qin Shi Huang came to visit the pottery workshop causing her to hide in a vat. She accidently made some noise and used "meow" to cover her track but Qin Shi Huang found her hiding in the vat. The second time, Dong Er slipped out of the Virgin Female Court to find her father but encounters some patrolling guards and hides behind a pole. Unfortunately, again she made some noise and used her "meow" attack. Meng Tian Fang, head of the guards, knew something was wrong with this "meow". He dispatched the other guards to the other courts before investigating the "meow" and finding out that it was his beloved Dong Er meowing. Meow Attack fails.

2) Brain wash/hoodwink/bamboozle: turning lies into reality and reality into lies

Her most well-known attack. It is super effective and highly entertaining to watch. The best execution of this attack was when she pretended to be the goddess from the East Sea. She and Xu Fu, together, bamboozled Qin Shi Huang into thinking that immortal beings and longevity pills exist. Xu Fu must be Dong Er's master at hoodwinking. He's so good at it, especially when he has to do it extemporaneously. Hilarious scenes! Of course, there were many more hoodwinking scenes, too much to count and type. Watch the show to see more.

3) Knock Out Attack: Grab anything nearby, aim and throw or swing

Never ever try to attack this lady. She will literally break your head, just ask Qin Shi Huang. She accidently threw a heavy piece of her shooting star at his head, causing his forehead to be bruised for a few days. Poor Gong Jiang also suffered from this attack. Dong Er flattered him and told him he's the best artisan in China and that she must make a clay figure of him. He happily agrees although he's suppose to make sure Dong Er doesn't escape. Dong Er tells him that the back of his head is very beautiful and that she would like to start modeling from the back. He agrees and Dong Er sneakily goes up behind him and knocks him out. KO! Very effective.

4) Bathroom Attack: Pretend that you really need to go to the toilet

Bathroom Time is your best friend in dangerous situations. The first time she used it, the target fell for it and she knocked him out after he turned around to lead her to the toilet area. The second time she used it was when her identity is exposed. She tried to trick Gong Jiang into letting her go to the toilet but he's no fool. Fool me once, shame on you! Fool me twice, shame on me! He prepared a bucket for her. Attack failed. The third time was when she was in jail and Mei Jiang was shooting her with real arrows. Just as Mei Jiang was about to shoot, Dong Er shouted wait and then threw a bucket full of excrements at Mei Jiang. Who told the guard not to empty the bucket! This attack will work 66.6% of the time.

5) Eye Poke Attack: Raise two fingers and aim for enemy's eyes and POKE

Super effective! Works 100% of the time. Dong Er used this twice. She was thrown in those walled jails where there's a small peek door on the big door. The guard opened the peek door and she poked his eyes. The second time, Xu Fu came to to rescue her and opened the peek door and got in the eyes too! OUCH!

This girl is either your best friend or your worst enemy. If you're best friends with her, your life will be extremely colorful. If she's your enemy, prepare to suffer, no weapons involved.

1 comment:

  1. omg. 3rd pic was disturbing. and firefox was lagging too so I had to see that pic until the page unfroze =____=;